How important remembering a name is.

Part 2 : Chapter 3 of the book “How to win friends and influence people”

Have you ever had situations when you just can’t remember a person’s name? Well, you need to remember names, because it is really vital in your quest of loyal companions.

In this chapter, the author Dale Carnegie says that the average person is more interested in his/her own name than in all the other names on the earth put together.

He advises us to remember a person’s name, call it easily and this would be a subtle and effective compliment to them.

With regards to businesses and corporations, the bigger they get, the colder they become. One way to warm it up is to remember people’s names.

The author tells us that people are so proud of their name that there have been some who pay others to carry on their name.

Most people don’t take the time and energy to remember a person’s name. They give excuses, like saying they are busy. But that won’t help.

Franklin D. Roosevelt always said that one of the most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will is by remembering names and making people feel important.

His technique was simple. If he didn’t hear the name distinctly, he would tell the person to repeat their name, or ask them the spelling of their name. He would then repeat that person’s name several times during the conversation and tried to associate it with that person’s features, expressions and general appearance.

The author emphasises that there is magic contained in a person’s name, because it is something which is wholly and completely owned by the person.

So to sum it up, remember a person’s name and they’ll always have pleasure dealing with you.

Thank you for reading! ❤


How to make a good first impression.

Part 2 : Chapter 2 of the book “How to win friends and influence people”

They say that the expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back.

The author speaks about the importance of a smile.

As actions speak louder than words, a smile says that you are glad to meet a person. That is why dogs make such a hit. So do babies. They get so glad to see us, that we get glad to see them too.

However, the author says that your smile should be genuine. An insincere smile or grin won’t fool anybody. Everyone knows that it is mechanical and they resent it.

Professor James V. McConnell says,

‘People who smile tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There’s far more information in a smile than in a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching advice than punishment’

The effect of a smile is powerful, even when it is unseen. If a person smiles while talking on the telephone, his/her smile comes through in their voice.

If you want people to have a good time meeting you, you have to make sure that you have a good time meeting people.

If you don’t feel like smiling what do you do? The author suggests that you should force yourself to smile. Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.

William James says,

‘Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feelings go together; by regulating the action we can indirectly regulate the feeling.’

Everyone in this world wants to be happy – and one sure way to be happy is to control your thoughts.

The author emphasises that happiness does not depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.

There is an ancient Chinese proverb that goes like this :

‘A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.’

Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it.

As the famous essayist and publisher Elbert Hubbard says,

‘Greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handshake. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies’

We bother so much about what other’s think about us, that we rarely feel happy with ourselves.

Let us strive to understand our worth, and be happier people, who genuinely smile at the world.

Thank you for reading! ❤

How to develop genuine friendships.

Part 2 : Chapter 1 of the book “How to win friends and influence people”

The author stresses upon the fact that we should show interest in others in order to make friends.

He says that you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

He further adds that people are not interested in us. They are interested in themselves-morning,  noon and after dinner.

You have to be concerned about everyone, no matter how unimportant they seem. That is the key to success.

To be genuinely interested in people is the main quality everyone should possess.

Dale Carnegie explains how we can win the attention and time of even the most sought-after people by becoming genuinely interested in them.

If we want to make friends, we should put ourselves out to do things for other people – things that require time and energy.

Another important point put across by the author is that we should greet people with animation and enthusiasm. That way we show that we are interested in talking to them.

As Alfred Adler said,

‘It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.’

.

Thank you for reading! ❤

How to influence others.

Part 1 : Chapter 3 of the book “How to win friends and influence people”

This chapter speaks about how we can influence others.

The author, Dave Carnegie, says that the only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Before you try to persuade someone to do something, ask yourself : ‘How can I make this person want to do it?

This ‘influencing’ should not be construed as ‘manipulating’. It should benefit both parties from the negotiation.

Owen D. Young says :

“People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them”

Carnegie goes on to explain that ‘when we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves.’

So, it is really easy to get a person to agree to something if we have the ability to convince them that we are thinking about the prospect from their point of view.

Harry A. Overstreet says :

“First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

Thank you for reading! ❤

Appreciate others.

Part 1 : Chapter 2 of the book “How to win friends and influence people”


Chapter 2 speaks about how important appreciation is.

It says that there is only one way to get people to do something, and that is to give them what they want. What people usually crave for is appreciation.

The best way to develop the best in a person is through appreciation and encouragement.

The books says that nothing else kills the ambitions of a person as critisicm does.

Showing “sincere appreciation” can change a person’s life.

Now this chapter also stresses upon the fact that it should be genuine appreciation, and not just flattery.

The difference between appreciation and flattery is that the former is sincere and the latter is not.

Whether it is a senior praising a new recruit, or a parent praising his/her child, nothing pleases and encourages a person more than appreciation does.

It speaks about the fact that honest appreciation got results where criticism and ridicule failed.

95% of the time we are thinking about ourselves. Let us stop thinking about ourselves for a change, and let’s try and think about the other person’s good points. Let’s appreciate people more and criticize them less.

As the Author says,

“Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.”

What incredible advice!

Thank you for reading! ❤

Don’t criticize others.

Part 1 : Chapter 1 of the book “How to win friends and influence people” 


I started reading this amazing book yesterday.

The first chapter speaks about how people never own up to their mistakes, they always feel they are right.

Whether it is a criminal or a politician, they always have a reason to justify their actions.

So, this chapter’s lesson is to NEVER CRITICIZE ANYONE. Criticism is not very effective because it gives the other person a reason to justify what they have done wrong.

Keep reading my blog for gists about the other chapters of the book.

Do read the book if you get a chance, it will change your life. ❤